We might as well pack it in, boys and girls. Back on October, 19 Gordon Brown told the UN, there were only 50 days left to save the world from the ravages of global warming. If he’s right, we won’t even make it till Christmas and I doubt they'll be able to do much between now and then. So it looks to me, we're all screwed. Might as well live it up then.
You know, you global warming people might be taken more seriously if you didn't get so far out there. That and the fact that you’ve been wrong about every prediction you’ve ever made, starting way back in the 60’s with your global cooling hysteria. You said we’d all be dead by now. And the outrageous claims you made way back then were just as wrong as the one’s you’re making today.
I came across a list of a few of the things you claim global warming is responsible for and some of the one’s you claim are coming. Go grab something to drink, this might take a while.
They tell us we can say goodbye to French wines because the grapes will burn up on the vines. Thanks to killer beetles and global warming, we can say goodbye to baseball because of the ash trees, the one’s baseball bats are made of will all die off. Entire forests in British Columbia are dying, so looks like we can say goodbye to the Christmas Tree.
Evidently Rainbow Trout are all going to die, so we can forget about fly fishing too. How about those ski competitions we all like to watch. Well, they’ll be a thing of the past too once the snow stops falling in the mountains.
Maybe you’re into snorkeling. Forget it. Carbon dioxide is killing the oceans too. How about a nice tropical island vacation this year. Not going to happen, most of the islands we all know and love will be under water before we know it. Salmon and lobsters will die as will the sharks and whales, so you can forget about going out to Red Lobster to eat.
Maybe wildflowers are your thing. Better hurry up, according to your fellow crazies at least a fifth of all wildflower species will be wiped out and replaced by dominant grasses anytime now. Dandelions will take over our lawns, mosquitoes will thrive as will poison ivy along with a long list of noxious weeds.
Birds will die. Once the polar bears run out of food, they’ll resort to cannibalism. We’ll experience a huge increase of brown bear attacks on people because the bears will have to travel farther and farther to find new food sources. Emperor penguins and frogs will be gone. But then so will the Artic fox and the walrus. There’ll be no more Koala bears either. Jelly fish will move closer to shore and start attacking more people than ever before. Now we even have to worrying about giant squid attacking us.
There’ll be no more sheep, goats, deer, rabbits, or lizards. But because global warming will extend the cat-breeding season, there’ll be more stray cats to contend with. But we can say goodbye to the beloved snail.
All the glaciers will be gone and the coveted Northwest Passage will become a reality. The oceans will turn to acid. The great barrier reef will be a thing of the past and some of the world’s largest rivers will dry up. If you’ve never had the chance to see the Mississippi river, you’d better get going soon. Lakes are drying up as we speak. We’ll see a huge surge in volcanic activity. There’ll more and bigger hurricanes. We’ll have more wildfires and floods. New York City will be under 20 feet of water and we’ll return to the dust bowl days of the 20’s.
Global warming will kill millions of us. Malaria, cholera, small pox, and lyme disease will be out of control. And if the diseases don’t get us, war will. Countries will start attacking each other over the few resources left in the world. Mass starvation and famine will become the new normal in the world.
They tell us mankind's very existence is at stake. I'd say our wallets and more importantly our way of life is at stake here. They were wrong forty years ago and they're wrong today.