Perspectives From a Right Wing (Common Sense) Point of View...
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Happy Snowy Easter Guys...
Believe it or not there are days when no matter how hard I try I just can't be pissed off.
Today's one of those days.
The kids and grand kids are here for our annual family Easter celebration at my niece's place later today.
About an hour ago (4:30 a.m.) as I was in the kitchen fixing coffee, 8-year-old Sofie appeared and was going on about seeing the biggest snowflakes she's ever seen in her life.
We both put on our coats and slipped on our shoes, Sofie put the leash on my little dog, Rosie and the three of us went for a little walk.
And now, well, now we're headed to the Daylight Donuts.
I may not have riches to pass on to my family so I try my best to pass along memories and hopefully this morning's walk in the snow will be one of those days Sofie remembers and tells her own grand kids about one day.
Oh, If you get a chance the following is a funny little story I found on Facebook I thought you might get a kick out of.
Happy Easter guys...
Proper way to change your oil:
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later, pay and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent: Oil Change:
========== Oil Change instructions for Men :
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, pay $100.00.
2) Stop and buy a case of beer, pay $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine..
8) Look for 13mm box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oileverywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
33) Lower truck from jack stands.
34) Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
36) Test drive truck
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) truck gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail..
40) 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.