To say the nights are almost unbearable is a understatement. What used to a welcome chance to rest up and recharge for the next day has been replaced by waking up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning.
I lay there staring at the ceiling feeling the emptiness that's become her side of the bed and and finally once I can't take it anymore I'll get out of bed to await the sunrise.
There was once a time when I loved sunrises. In my mind a sunrise was a new beginning so to speak. Another chance to finish up unfinished business. A chance to right whatever wrongs you might have left out there hanging.
But then one of those beautiful sunrises that I had always enjoyed came along and destroyed everything I had ever held dear.
You see, just after sunrise almost 6 months ago we discovered my beloved wife of 46 years had died in her sleep.
Nothing in my 66 years of life could have prepared me for the initial shock of desperately begging her to, please wake up.
She was gone and no amount of begging could change it.
Since then life as I knew it has been destroyed and if I'm being completely honest most of the time all I want to do is curl up in a ball and die.
I hate being in this cold, empty house especially at night.
And now, I hate being in this cold, empty house in the morning as well...
Kevin McGinty
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